Day by day, moments by moments and periods by periods, people fall in love to achieve one goal or the other. While some end up in pain and agony, other few end up being knotted on the altar.
Though solemnizing of marriage is not an end in itself, it is a means to an end. Had it been, marriage is an end in itself, the recent prevalence of divorce and domestic violence would not have been a major issue in this generation. One of the major issues that turned marriages into a black market in this present dispensation is the fact that parties involved and those desiring to get involved lacked the understanding of the basic concepts of what marriages stand for. While some people see it to fulfilment, others see it as a fulfilment itself.
Those who see it to fulfilment always end up being selfish in their approach to get all their personal aims and goals that have been left unattended to due to one reason or the other becoming a reality. They end up putting pressure on their husband or wives deeming it necessary for the concerned to embark on rat races and dreams that only him or she cannot achieve on time.
How can someone explain the rationale behind a partner who has his or her parents that have lived their life’s without a car to look for means to buy one for his or her parents?
How can someone explain some unreasonable family obligations that are always placed either the husband or wife from the extended families? Money for social function and all sorts of Aso-Ebi’s that is common in Yoruba land?
In another vein, those who viewed marriage as a fulfilment in itself might have a successful marriage because they will be ready to do anything about contributions to make sure that their source of fulfilment remains successful forever. This set of people make sure that they maintain meaningful contributions that will make the foundation of the marriage stand the test of time.
Your partner will remain faithful to you when he o she is not pressured in terms of meeting your needs. This becomes achievable when both parties understand their roles and they are ready to carry out their responsibilities without being cuddled and enforced in discharging their duties.
If you as a lady has the mentality that every provision should be made by your husband, you are not ready to get married. No matter how small it might be, look for something that will be your responsibility in your husband’s life.
A situation whereby you are looking for a financial saviour in the likeness of a man makes you almost the same as a prostitute who only cares about having sexual satisfaction when money is paid.
This submission is not forcing my personal concept of marriage on anybody. I am a living proof of an idea of marital bliss whereby both of us carry out our responsibility together irrespective of what it is and this has not affected each other having mutual respect for one another.
It is pertinent to note that the fact that you are sharing responsibility with your husband gives you the license to disregard or disrespect him. Likewise, husbands too should respect their wives go with the wife being assured of her place of belonging in the marital institutions.
Conclusively, the best of marriage are marriages in which husband and wife carry out conjugal responsibilities and obligations together even at the same percentage. This enhances equity and equality in the confines of such marriage
Since sexual pleasure and satisfaction is engaged and experienced by both partners, so obligations and responsibilities should be carried out too even at ratio 1:1 if it is possible. I am a witness to this method and that’s why I am not under any pressure in my marriage.