1. Take control of your thoughts.
Each one of us has both positive and a negative thought voice. The negative voice is the part of you that has internalized all the warped messages thrown at you by society since birth and works overtime to shame you into fitting in with the societal norms. The negative voice is trying to save you from rejection much of the time.
Traditionally, psychology has told us that the negative voice, or “inner-critic” spews irrational thoughts. I disagree. Society fuels self-destructive thoughts. Make no mistake! You’re not crazy. You’re an intuitive good listener, which is the very reason that many of our self-destructive thoughts looks similar, such as “I’m ugly,” “I’m stupid,” “I’m a burden” “I’m a loser.” When not overt, all you have to do is read between the lines of social messages and that’s what you get.
Thoughts lead to feelings and feelings lead to actions. To change the way you feel (aka less than), change the way you think, Identify thought patterns that lead to unwanted feelings.
Thoughts are not facts. Instead of buying into what you’ve internalized over decades in this place, invite you to challenge what you’ve learned. What is learned can be unlearned – practice.
Call bullshit on your negative thoughts. Write them down. Replace them with truth. Get on with your day. Remember, each one of us came with everything we need to get through this life in a healthy and happy way. Period.
2. Teach others to respect you, not like you.
Of course, we want to be liked, but when being liked is top priority, we often compromise ourselves. We, women, for instance aren’t schooled on setting boundaries, which leads to over-commitment, resentment and all-out exhaustion.
Screw that, seriously. You deserve time. You have a voice, even when it’s uncomfortable, use it. Comfort is overrated. It’s time to get comfortable being uncomfortable for you, for me, for all of us!
3. Get here, show up.
You are the only person in the world with your experience and perspective. You don’t have a purpose, you’re the purpose. Frankly, we need you. You’ve gotta to show up for someone, for you, for us! The goal is to have your head and your body in the same place at the same time – no easy feat (for now, anyway).